Dear Hovering Mom,
I would like to talk to you briefly about your child's dental visit. I understand this is your baby, and you think the dentist is terrible, but your child has not yet had the chance to have a bad experience or be indoctrinated by you or the many persistent media defamations of dental treatment. So here are some suggestions for YOUR behavior at your child's next visit.
Kids are easily distractable. If I am talking about TV shows, or telling a story as I bring a syringe into their mouth, there is a reason. Please do not say, 'It's OK baby!' or 'I'm here!' or 'Sqeeze my hands if it hurts!' Now the kid thinks something terrible is about to happen, and is no longer thinking about the Alphonse the Mysterious Tadpole story I was telling him, and why Alphonse only eats cheeseburgers.
When you see something we do on your kid that looks like it might be stimulating or painful, observe your child's reaction. As they lay there quiet and still because I managed to get them numb despite your efforts to scare them, don't say "Are you OK?" or 'Does that hurt?' or 'I'm here!' or 'Squeeze my hands as hard as you want." I must be missing the neon sign flashing above your child's head that says they are hurting, because they are perfectly still and calm. Please shut your face.
Please do not incessantly ask your kid 'are you ok?' or 'if they want to hold your hands.' If they look OK, and they don't reach out for your hands, they are ok and don't want/ need to hold your hands.
Please, please, please don't use the word 'shot', or 'needle' around your kid. These are tantamount to the F word in my office. Take a clue from us. If we are using words like 'sleepy juice,' 'sleepy drink,' 'scratchy,' or did my fingernails rub your gums' you should realize it is to NOT SCARE YOUR KID. Please do not undermine all our efforts to build a fun environment, distract, entertain, and calm your kid.
Finally, getting young kids to do somewhat challenging things takes a fair amount of focus and emotional investment. It would benefit me and your child greatly if I could only deal with your child while we are doing procedures, and not have to constantly reassure YOU that your kid is OK, or ask you to be quiet. I know this is your child, and you know them better than anyone, but I have gone to ten years of school and treated many, MANY children. We do this all day! I know how to distract a kid. I know what hurts and what doesn't. I kinda know what I'm doing, so please take your seat, preferably in the waiting room, but I welcome you in our op room if you sit in the corner and are a quiet observer. If I need your assistance, I will ask you...but I won't.
9 months ago
10 comments:
Soooo.....not such a good "parent" day at the office?
uh-oh...did it sound more bitter than I intended? It's not so bad, I get 3 or 4 of these Mom's a week. I have yet to figure out a graceful way to tell them before or during the appointment to sit in the corner and keep their traps shut. After 20 minutes of them doing their best to undo all the progress I am making with their kids that is the response I most want to give.
I think 95% of the stress of being a dentist is holding in what you really want to say.
Maybe you should post this in the waiting room--in very large print.
Luckily, I have found a really good dentist for Baylee--he actually sounds a lot like you and your techniques, ....I always, always sit in the corner and keep my mouth shut.
No, you didn't sound bitter...just frustrated. But I feel compelled to tell you that Dr. Hamblin did two root canals on Brad at age two and three and I didn't even go in the room....he wouldn't let me. I probably would have been a text book example of what you are talking about here :) So I get it...
Love ya!
I should add we almost always have moms in the room, and 90% of them are great. I would rather have a parent in the room unless they need the drama in their lives, or whatever it is for these moms. It just kinda baffles me they can't see what they're doing.
Hilarious, great to know. I think I'll be a sit in the waiting room mom, just to be safe:) By the way, when are we supposed to take Livvy in? She's 2. I probably should know this:) Thanks for the inside scoop!
We recommend no later than 12 months. 10 years ago they used to say 3 or 4. But we get so many 1-3 year olds with a mouthful of cavities we needed to get them in earlier and educate the parents. It's not nig deal you haven't taken Livvy in yet, you aren't the type of parent who needs a big talking to. I'm biased, but I would recommend a pediatric dentist like you use a pediatrician. A general dentist may not feel comfortable evaluating a 2 yo. We may be coming your way in July, and I'd be happy to take a peek, but it would be good to establish a " dental home" and get her comfortable and have a resource for questions or concerns.
And it's only the hovering moms who need to be in the waiting room. Normal moms are welcome! :)
Thanks for pointing out what I shouldn't do to my kid at his first visit. My eyes have been opened..
LOL. Love this post. I need to copy it with a bit of editing for things such as "Vaccines," "Flu Swab," "Lumbar Puncture" or "Basic Ear Exam."
Here in St. Louis, many dentists won't see kids until they are 3-4. This is a problem as we often see kids with rotting teeth. There is talk about pediatricians starting fluoride varnishes in the office.
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