So for the last two weeks I've been on my Geriatric rotation.We travel to nursing homes around Ohio and do some mobile dentistry. We have been in some decent places, but mostly it has been an eye opener...in a nightmarish sort of way. Lots of places smelling like human waste, lots of dentures that have not been taken out of the mouth in a LONG time which adds up to lots of near barf experiences.
Example: 
So I've been thinking about this question. Would you rather have your mind sharp, and your body deteriorate around you, or would you prefer a healthy body and dementia so you're free from a knowledge of your deteriorating state? After my experiences I choose dementia (sorry kids).
As I've been commuting around to these places I've been contemplating my old age options. I figure I have three: . 1. Be extra nice to my kids so they'll take care of me. 2. Save like crazy to pay $100,000+/year for a nice nursing home. 3. Plan a more exciting exit from this world. Choice three sounds like a WINNER! Here's what I've come up with.
1. Go scuba diving of the Great Barrier Reef on my 75th birthday and hopefully get lanced through the heart by a sting ray like the crocodile hunter.
2. Speaking of crocodiles, I've always wanted to wrestle one. My guess is it's all hype.
3. Swim the English Channel (I've heard drowning is actually not that bad)
4. Take up mixed martial arts and enter the Ultimate Fighting circuit.
5. Get fat. I recently read an article that increased abdominal fat increases your risk of dementia in old age by 83%!!! If I have Alzheimer's my kids can put me in the cheapest hole they can find. Bring on the double quarter pounders! Maybe I'll even get lucky and have a massive coronary or aneurysm and never even have to face old age!
Seriously people, go visit a nursing home. Listen to dementia patients ramble about funny stuff like mean potatoes attacking their reputation. It'll make you grateful for health.
11 months ago
8 comments:
Rob, i'm so glad you're back.
I love "near barf experiences." And that picture gave me one too. thanks.
I always thought it'd be fun to go out with a bang as well. You have some good ideas. I've heard the same thing about drowning. It hurts until you take a "breath."
Oh, my goodness!!!! I've seen a lot of in-the-mouth-gross-things before, but that picture........WOW. I'm glad you didn't try to describe the smell, because that was probably the worst part. If I tried to imagine the worst breath I've ever come across -- times a hundred -- maybe I'll have an idea.
Hey Rob, thanks for that picture, I'm not hungry anymore...
Grandma Perkins [nice old lady in our ward] said she always prayed she would die picking appled from her apple tree in Taylor. The kids found her slupped over, dead, under the apple tree with a bucket half full of apples. So, my suggestion would be to pick a method and start praying like crazy!
Lovies and lots of 'em
Grandma M.
Is this what Annie gets to listen to every evening when you come home? Talk about a pick-me-upper! On the other hand, you probably get to listen to stories of potty training and baby barf so it all evens out right?
I have been getting much better at reducing the "dental speak" around our house. But Annie continues to talk about Dirty Diapers and baby barf like it's MY problem! I've told her again and again, I take care of the Dentistry, YOU take care of the barf.
P.S. I love you and please do not hurt me.
Nice. Next time Roen coughs his tell -tell "I'm about to barf" cough, I'll just pick him up and aim. Did I mention that we are teaching the Celestial Marriage class? It takes 2 to make a marriage, but apparently only 1 to make it celestial. The bad thing about posting a comment about a comment is that most people will never see my retort. Sneaky Rob.
That's just nasty. Justin was sitting here and saw the picture and said, "poopy diaper." No, Justin. That's worse than a poopy diaper. I seriously think I'd rather clean up poop off the floor (we have yet to master pooping on the toilet-- and by "we" I mean Justin) than take that out of someone's mouth.
Are you Kidding me?!?!?? Rob what the heck?
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